I must admit, that I may have left some information out of a previous post; not on purpose, but there was info missing nonetheless. I stated previously that I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up in the state of Utah for one major reason—I wasn’t in the same place as everyone else on Sundays. Well, there is one other reason that I have known my entire life and I still think about it to this day… I grew up in the ’80s and the most popular show on TV at that time was Dukes of Hazzard—and boy, oh boy, in hindsight, that was one really wrong show—but this post is not about racism and the south rising again, this post is about a man on that show name J.D. Hawg, who, I believe was the town mayor. He wore an all white suite, a white cowboy hat, and drove around with his dogs in a white Cadillac with giant steer horns on the hood. And this man was large.

Do you see where this is going? Kids are mean as hell, and if you have the same name as a very large (yes, body size large) antagonist on TV, you will be teased incessantly for absolutely nothing more than this. For the first three years of school my nickname was J.D. Hawg. And did I have comebacks to this? No way! When the reason you are teased makes literally zero sense at all, your comeback is to try and ignore the teasing and just become friends with someone the kids tease even more—the kid with glasses who smelled like he peed his pants every day. You also end up hanging out by yourself a lot.

I like my name, but I’m sure that if it had been left as Justin, rather than being called JD because there were five other Justin’s in the neighborhood, I’d have been the cool non-Mormon kid. Okay, that’s a stretch, but maybe people wouldn’t have hated me for no reason other than I had the same name as an overly-nourished man on TV and they never saw me at the local ward on Sundays.

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